Question about being a step parent.

[Cope's Distributing]

I guess the difference is myself and ChopperDoc give a fu@k about our kids... and have no intentions of letting another man raise them. I fought tooth and nail for my son... and I'll curb stomp any A$$hat that tries to get in the way[/quote]


I completely agree with you here. But in copes cause he kids dad is a POS who seems to care more about his affect on her than being there for his kids. IMO he is doing it because of her not because of the kids.[/quote]


I am glad someone is understanding how hard this is on me as well as everyone else. I did talk to my husband last night and he has come to the decision. He married me cause he loves me and he loves my kids. He said he understands after thinking about it how important it is for them to know they have a "dad". He talked to them and they said they will call him nate/dad cause it sounds like natedogg! LOL Now to tackle his son and his feelings are gonna be harder.

[Rem700]

Glad to hear you all came to an agreement on what your kids will call him. Good luck working with his son and resolving this issue he has. It will take time and effort on everyones part. The most important thing is just stay positive about it all and let the kids see that. Obviously we dont know the whole situation , but chances are you and your family would be better off if you could cut ties with bio dad and move on with your lives. That is what we have done. He used to harass my fiance all the time claiming to want to see his son....but in reality all he wanted to do was try to manipulate my fiance. That all changed when he found out i was in the picture. He would still try but the calls became fewer and fewer over the first few months of us dating and then they stopped altogether when he found someone else to beat and harass. I honestly pray i get to run into that POS some time....he will not have a good day and will probably be lucky to come out of it still breathing. But anyway good luck with all this.....from someone who knows first hand it isnt easy.

[Cope's Distributing]

Glad to hear you all came to an agreement on what your kids will call him. Good luck working with his son and resolving this issue he has. It will take time and effort on everyones part. The most important thing is just stay positive about it all and let the kids see that. Obviously we dont know the whole situation , but chances are you and your family would be better off if you could cut ties with bio dad and move on with your lives. That is what we have done. He used to harass my fiance all the time claiming to want to see his son....but in reality all he wanted to do was try to manipulate my fiance. That all changed when he found out i was in the picture. He would still try but the calls became fewer and fewer over the first few months of us dating and then they stopped altogether when he found someone else to beat and harass. I honestly pray i get to run into that POS some time....he will not have a good day and will probably be lucky to come out of it still breathing. But anyway good luck with all this.....from someone who knows first hand it isnt easy.

That is how it is going somewhat. He use to call all the time. He still calls but I dont answer. We were all out shopping one day. My husband my boys and I, he rolled up in his Married gf's truck. We just walked on my kids wanted nothing to do with him they didnt even say hi to their own father. The next day he picked my kids up from school and called me to let me know that he had them. I get off work go to his house to get them, not thinking anything of it. He comes out guns blazing yelling screaming, tries to punch me. Starts saying the next time we mean mug him in public he is gonna crack my husbands skull. I mean seriously he is 28 years old. He will have to grow up someday. I was very weak once and would fall right back into the I love you Ill change. My husband has even answered the phone and he will be all cool with him. The ex will say "I dont have a problem with you man its her that I have a problem with" and play it all nice. As soon as I get on the phone it is yelling and bashing me. If I could cut ties which I am trying to do. It will help 10 fold. The husband said this has got to change an after our talk last night it will change. I was told that I need to get my life together and be a mother. That is coming from a man who has fatherd 4 kids,doesnt pay a dime for any of them. An who asked me if I could send him at least 4 outfits for my kids cause he doesnt have any nice cloths for them to wear and is low on cash. My husband wanted to go to his house and smack the pee pee out of him.

[Dave1965]

Glad to see it worked out, I was going to suggest a compromise of Daddy Nate but if they have something they like better, good for them.

My dad passed away in january and I have been trying to help his wife (step-mother to me) with all the papers and stuff. She has a biological son and my dad had my brother and I. I always lived with my mom. I was talking to my step-mother about some things and wills and stuff and my thoughts had already been that because of the situation, if she passes on, she would leave things to her son. She told me that she had her will split evenly three ways between all three of the children/stepchildren. She said that when she married my dad, they agreed with each other that they had not just married each other...they had married the family as well and the extended family became a part of their own real family. It is not what I had expected of her.

[GeminiXD9]

Sounds like a real piece of work. Can't stand men like that, don't wanna take care of their own kids until it benefits them in some way. Your husband may need to give dude a reality check. Let him know y'all don't have time for the bullsh*t. Guys like that will end up hanging themselves in the long run but in the meantime you can't let him become an issue with what you got going on now. Karma's a mean Lil b*tch n she'll b back around to get him

[Cope's Distributing]

Glad to see it worked out, I was going to suggest a compromise of Daddy Nate but if they have something they like better, good for them.

My dad passed away in january and I have been trying to help his wife (step-mother to me) with all the papers and stuff. She has a biological son and my dad had my brother and I. I always lived with my mom. I was talking to my step-mother about some things and wills and stuff and my thoughts had already been that because of the situation, if she passes on, she would leave things to her son. She told me that she had her will split evenly three ways between all three of the children/stepchildren. She said that when she married my dad, they agreed with each other that they had not just married each other...they had married the family as well and the extended family became a part of their own real family. It is not what I had expected of her.

That is what we talked about last night. We didnt just marry each other we married into each others family. We both had children, we will never have children together. So my children an his child became our children. They are all still young 6 (mine) 5 (his) 4 (mine). In time they will see what a family can be and hopefully grow and learn from a happy and heathly relationship.

[Rem700]

Glad to hear you all came to an agreement on what your kids will call him. Good luck working with his son and resolving this issue he has. It will take time and effort on everyones part. The most important thing is just stay positive about it all and let the kids see that. Obviously we dont know the whole situation , but chances are you and your family would be better off if you could cut ties with bio dad and move on with your lives. That is what we have done. He used to harass my fiance all the time claiming to want to see his son....but in reality all he wanted to do was try to manipulate my fiance. That all changed when he found out i was in the picture. He would still try but the calls became fewer and fewer over the first few months of us dating and then they stopped altogether when he found someone else to beat and harass. I honestly pray i get to run into that POS some time....he will not have a good day and will probably be lucky to come out of it still breathing. But anyway good luck with all this.....from someone who knows first hand it isnt easy.

That is how it is going somewhat. He use to call all the time. He still calls but I dont answer. We were all out shopping one day. My husband my boys and I, he rolled up in his Married gf's truck. We just walked on my kids wanted nothing to do with him they didnt even say hi to their own father. The next day he picked my kids up from school and called me to let me know that he had them. I get off work go to his house to get them, not thinking anything of it. He comes out guns blazing yelling screaming, tries to punch me. Starts saying the next time we mean mug him in public he is gonna crack my husbands skull. I mean seriously he is 28 years old. He will have to grow up someday. I was very weak once and would fall right back into the I love you Ill change. My husband has even answered the phone and he will be all cool with him. The ex will say "I dont have a problem with you man its her that I have a problem with" and play it all nice. As soon as I get on the phone it is yelling and bashing me. If I could cut ties which I am trying to do. It will help 10 fold. The husband said this has got to change an after our talk last night it will change. I was told that I need to get my life together and be a mother. That is coming from a man who has fatherd 4 kids,doesnt pay a dime for any of them. An who asked me if I could send him at least 4 outfits for my kids cause he doesnt have any nice cloths for them to wear and is low on cash. My husband wanted to go to his house and smack the pee pee out of him.

Yea sounds about right. It got to a point with me that i would answer when he called. He did not like that one bit. He started going on and on about he wasnt gonna let someone else raise his son blah blah. I stayed calm and simply said well you obviously arent mature enough to step up and be the parent he needs so thats why i am here....he got quit and then tried to act all hard with me and in not so many words thretened to beat my ass. This is coming from a guy who is 5'7 and about 150 lbs....im 6'5 and 215...i laughed and told him i hope he tries someday. I basically told him to stop calling and leave us alone (in not so many nice words). To this day that is the only conversation i have ever had with him.....he better hope its the last.

[Rem700]

Sounds like a real piece of work. Can't stand men like that, don't wanna take care of their own kids until it benefits them in some way. Your husband may need to give dude a reality check. Let him know y'all don't have time for the bullsh*t. Guys like that will end up hanging themselves in the long run but in the meantime you can't let him become an issue with what you got going on now. Karma's a mean Lil b*tch n she'll b back around to get him

I agree. With guys like this as soon as they know they have lost the upper hand, they tuck tail and run. Stand up to him, or better yet have your new hubby step in and stand up to him and let him know you will not put up with any more of the BS. If he wants to see his kids...make him work for it. I told my fiance when we first got together that i was fine with Ashton seeing his dad if he would be willing to prove he wants to do the right thing. I said make him pay child support...once that has been consistent for a few months, then he could have some contact, after that went well enough we would be more lenient etc....You know what happened. NOT A DAMN THING!!!! To this day he has only met his son about 4 times. Anyway im rambling again because these situation always run so deep with emotion. Anyhow best of luck.

[Rem700]

Glad to see it worked out, I was going to suggest a compromise of Daddy Nate but if they have something they like better, good for them.

My dad passed away in january and I have been trying to help his wife (step-mother to me) with all the papers and stuff. She has a biological son and my dad had my brother and I. I always lived with my mom. I was talking to my step-mother about some things and wills and stuff and my thoughts had already been that because of the situation, if she passes on, she would leave things to her son. She told me that she had her will split evenly three ways between all three of the children/stepchildren. She said that when she married my dad, they agreed with each other that they had not just married each other...they had married the family as well and the extended family became a part of their own real family. It is not what I had expected of her.

That is what we talked about last night. We didnt just marry each other we married into each others family. We both had children, we will never have children together. So my children an his child became our children. They are all still young 6 (mine) 5 (his) 4 (mine). In time they will see what a family can be and hopefully grow and learn from a happy and heathly relationship.

I appluad you for what you are doing and the mentallity you have about it. It still seems that there is a tumor on your relationship though, that being bio dad and his childish temper. Good luck with the tumor removal. You will all be better for it in the end. And just remeber one day he will get whats coming to him, people like that do no good to anyone and therefore will recieve none themselves.

[Cope's Distributing]

Sounds like a real piece of work. Can't stand men like that, don't wanna take care of their own kids until it benefits them in some way. Your husband may need to give dude a reality check. Let him know y'all don't have time for the bullsh*t. Guys like that will end up hanging themselves in the long run but in the meantime you can't let him become an issue with what you got going on now. Karma's a mean Lil b*tch n she'll b back around to get him

I agree. With guys like this as soon as they know they have lost the upper hand, they tuck tail and run. Stand up to him, or better yet have your new hubby step in and stand up to him and let him know you will not put up with any more of the BS. If he wants to see his kids...make him work for it. I told my fiance when we first got together that i was fine with Ashton seeing his dad if he would be willing to prove he wants to do the right thing. I said make him pay child support...once that has been consistent for a few months, then he could have some contact, after that went well enough we would be more lenient etc....You know what happened. NOT A DAMN THING!!!! To this day he has only met his son about 4 times. Anyway im rambling again because these situation always run so deep with emotion. Anyhow best of luck.

That is what my husband said last night. He is putting his foot down, if he cant pay child support and when he does get them if the only reason is to see me or fight with me that is done. He wants to show my children what a man is suppose to be and do. Hell the ex hasnt worked in over 2 years!!! I am happy to have had our convo last night my husband and I are now on the same page an figured out what was gonna happen. I even asked my ex out of respect if he would shake my husbands hand, because he is now raising and being the man he should of been to our children from the start. He laughed and laughed and laughed about it. My husband stayed quite during that convo between us. The next time we saw him my husband got out of his truck opened the door to help one of the boys in an I did the same thing. My ex walked all the way around to my side to talk and ask me for stuff.....ummm no!!! He really is a big loser and a scared one at that.

[Cope's Distributing]

Glad to see it worked out, I was going to suggest a compromise of Daddy Nate but if they have something they like better, good for them.

My dad passed away in january and I have been trying to help his wife (step-mother to me) with all the papers and stuff. She has a biological son and my dad had my brother and I. I always lived with my mom. I was talking to my step-mother about some things and wills and stuff and my thoughts had already been that because of the situation, if she passes on, she would leave things to her son. She told me that she had her will split evenly three ways between all three of the children/stepchildren. She said that when she married my dad, they agreed with each other that they had not just married each other...they had married the family as well and the extended family became a part of their own real family. It is not what I had expected of her.

That is what we talked about last night. We didnt just marry each other we married into each others family. We both had children, we will never have children together. So my children an his child became our children. They are all still young 6 (mine) 5 (his) 4 (mine). In time they will see what a family can be and hopefully grow and learn from a happy and heathly relationship.

I appluad you for what you are doing and the mentallity you have about it. It still seems that there is a tumor on your relationship though, that being bio dad and his childish temper. Good luck with the tumor removal. You will all be better for it in the end. And just remeber one day he will get whats coming to him, people like that do no good to anyone and therefore will recieve none themselves.

He will get what is coming to him sooner then later!! His gf he has right now is married, her husband and my ex go at it all the time. He is sleeping with 2 other women that are married an one of them is married to a cop. He comes into the shop all the time to talk to me about it. I have told him over and over, first get your own wife in check, next beat his a$$ just leave me out of it. Needless to say the ex is a drunk and so is his married whore gf as I an my husband refer to her. I get a call every Fri,and Sat night that he is in a fight and getting his butt handed to him. I guess that is the pro of working at a gun shop and knowing all the cops. They hate my ex and want nothing more then to see him suffer for all the pain he has caused my family.

[Rem700]

I guarentee he will get whats coming to him. Its good to see more men like myself stepping up to take care of some one elses kids becasue that person is not man enough to do it himself. Your hubby sounds like a great man and im sure will continue to be exactly what your kids are looking for in a dad.

[Lady Luck]

Any man can be a FATHER but it takes a special someone to be called DAD! It sucks for the biological father but I wouldnt make the kid feel like he was doing something wrong.I still would not encourage it but if he does say dad just try to correct in a light silly fashion.instead of saying " he isnt your dad". say "silly he is ( whatever his name is)"